"Your Jean Shorts are Making Me Hungry"

Having the mind that I do, I occassionally have these thoughts/ideas/potential song lyrics that will pop into my head at inopportune moments, and my best approach is to grab a pen and the best form of paper I can find and get the thought/idea/potential song lyric down before it leaves my short term memory. That was a long sentence.

One day at work about 3 or 4 weeks ago, I was in nice and early, and while reading a Roger Ebert review of Tamara Drewe, I noticed a photo of the lead actress looking MILFTASTIC in a pair of jean shorts. Right when I noticed this, I realized that I hadn't eaten breakfast, and my stomach was growling. The words "your jean shorts are making me hungry" popped into my head, and inspired by the moment, I grabbed a Post It note, wrote the words down, folded up the note, and put it in the pocket of my 100% camel hair sportsjacket.

Fast forward to this past Monday at my gym. As I'm walking out, I stop to talk to my Mother's Husband's Daughter (my stepsister? halfsister?), who works the front desk at the gym. After a few minutes, I reach in my jacket for my keys, say my goodbyes, and strut out the front door. My _____sister calls out to me, and is holding in her hand the folded up yellow Post It note.

"Did you drop this?"

"Yes, Yes I did. Thanks."

At the moment I saw the yellow folded up piece of paper, I knew that whatever was written on there (I have these all over the place, and I never remember what is on them) was potentially embarassing. Thankfully, she didn't see it, and thankfully, no random person picked it up and read it.

As proud as I am of how my brain works, I'm totally embarassed knowing that most people think I'm a crazy pervy shithead, and not the misunderstood genius who writes poetic horny odes to women. I really hate myself, and it's these people's fault.

I bet Mark Twain had the same problem, but he didn't have his own blog, so he can SUK MY NUTZ.