Happy Columbus Day, America.
This holiday seems to serve no purpose on our calendar other than to allow smartass "history experts" to step up to the plate to dazzle their fellow man with "the truth" about what went down in 1492.
"Columbus enslaved the people"
"Columbus was dumb, got lost and stumbled upon America"
"Columbus wasnt even involved in the voyage, yet he had a better PR person, who helped hype his name and got him a book deal, a reality show, and a national holiday out of the whole thing"
Allow me to contribute to the confusion:
In 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed west, and met some not-too-happy natives...luckily for society/America/us, ol' Christopher came prepared to bring a slice of Europe to the natives: he brought prostitution. Chris practically serviced every tribal leader on the continent himself, and the ones who he couldnt get to, he sent the three members of his incredible harem: Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria to finish them off/teach them about the currency of nutbusting.
In fact, the lyric is actually: "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean, blew."
The homonym belies the fact the man had a two step plan for transforming the world: Step one: travel Step two: blow.
And damnit it worked. "The ocean blue" is a much more kid friendly version of the story.
You have been schooled.
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