Thursday, December 29, 2005
Olfactory blogging
I just got my haircut, and the barber put some after shave on my neck that I can only describe as the smell of "old man cologne". You know what I'm talking about.
And is there some epidemic going on with adults regularly shitting their pants?
There was a guy in Rite Aid who was in line behind me, and he had a cloud of FreshPooScent going on.
When I was at Kay Bee Toys in the mall a week ago, I could smell some nastiness. I figured it was a kids diaper, but it was a 40 something sweat pant wearing woman who reeked of B.M.
I just walked by an old man in the hallway at work who either ate something that didn't agree with him, or has switched from "old man cologne" to "Eau de Diarrhea".
Is this just a Glen Burnie thing?
I am somehow still able to eat.
AAR
Nobody puts P. Swizzle in the corner!!

After years of being indirectly involved with Hip-Hop music, actor/pop singer Patrick Swayze is finally experimenting with rap music.
Swayze recently said he was experimenting with ?rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads.?
Armageddon is coming.
Let me see if I can help with a freestyle for the only Swayze ballad that I know of:
"She's like the wind, blowin' me around
Kelly Lynch would never ever go down
Just a fool to believe that the girl always blows
Like Jennifer Grey, before she lost the nose
Roadhouse, Point Break, Dirty Dancing, Wong Foo
I'm white, I've got a mullet, and I haven't got a clue
Her wind is so strong, She's almost like Katrina.
I always eat the pussy, like the pussy eats Purina..."
Ok, I'll stop now.
AAR
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Somewhere, Kurt is (very quietly) kicking himself with a little chuckle
This quote was in a Blender interview with none other than...

The woman who should have been known as Shakira Cobain.
Underneath my clothes, there's an endless story-
AAR
Bush vs. Clinton
finding out that you have to give up some civil liberties to ensure our national security with the Clinton Administration authorizing wiretaps > finding out that you have to give up some civil liberties to ensure our national security with the Bush Administration authorizing wiretaps.
Everyone agree?
AAR
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Ewww?
I have no idea what I was saying here, but I am disturbed, because I obviously was trying to be a smartass. Smartassism doesn't always translate via the Google Search engine.
AAR
Self Loathing Corner
Nobody give a shit about you and your stupid ass blog.
You are writing this to amuse yourself, and well, it isn't working.
From,
Adam
Self-Love Corner
I'm sorry I have literally been all over you all day, but you smell INCREDIBLE. That Axe Shower Gel Kilo Scent has been driving me crazy all day.
You look good today also, but the smell is just AMAZING.
When I get you home, you'd better look out!
Sincerely,
Adam
Adam's iPod
Here's a sample:
Time Will Reveal- DeBarge
Hospital- Jonathan Richman
When You Were Mine- Prince
That's Alright, Mama- Elvis Presley
They Saved Hitler's Cock- Angry Samoans
Physical- Olivia Newton John
Yes, I have interesting taste in music.
That is one of the reasons why you love me...
AAR
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Nostradumbass
Predictions for 2005
Ron Howard's film The Cinderella Man will win Best Picture, and be one of the most highly acclaimed films of the decade. - It's too early to say what will happen with the Oscars, but i was wrong about the rave reviews (I haven't seen it yet).
At least one of the following people will die during the year: Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, and/or Courtney Love. - I guess I should be happy that I was wrong here...but they haven't done anything to change their lives, so I'll renew it for next year.
The pressure will continue to grow on President Bush regarding the War in Iraq, and he will eventually be forced to get our troops out of there. - Pressure? Bush? Nah, just a bunch of evil secular progressives trying to undermine our mission.
President Bush, no matter what happens in Iraq, will claim the entire liberation/war a success. - Well, he has JUST started to take responsbility for SOME of the missteps...
A scandal (on the scale of Paula Jones/Monica Lewinsky, but non-sexual) will rock the Bush administration, and Bush's inarticulate defense will force him to be even more isolated inside the Oval Office surrounded by his team (Rove, Cheney, Rice). - I was partially right. He is totally isolated, but his bubble is full of its own controversy.
Fox News will wait until the very last minute to report the story, or will focus the majority of their take on the story on the other media outlets who cover the actual story. - I am a genius. Somehow, with each story (torture policy, Katrina fuckups, Harriett Miers, Plame leak case, NSA spying without FISA approval), the Bush administration could not possibly be to blame, so the evil liberal media gets the finger pointed at them.
The post-election Brit Hume smug smile will disappear for good. - It's still there.
The Democrats will openly speak out about impeachment. -They are starting to...but they are such a confused group...
Many Republicans will be very public with their disapproval of Bush as Commander in Chief, but will not support the impeachment talk. - This is somehwat true, but it is clear that EVERYONE is so scared of the Administration...
The "next big thing" in popular music will not hit big in 2005. - I win!
Reality Shows will really start to fade fast. - Fear Factor got cancelled! Martha's Apprentice got cancelled...
I'll make predictions for next year at another time...
AAR
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
John Gibson, Psycho Albino
If he wants to try to pollute the airwaves with bullshit and attempt to ruin people's Christmases and Hannukahs, well, I wish him all the misery he seems to want at this time of year.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/12/21.html#a6426
Hello, readers!
I hope that you all have a Happy Hannukah and a Merry Christmas. And just a happy last week of the year regardless of your religion or lack thereof.
American Idol starts 3 weeks into 2006, and I will once again be all over it on this blog. Many people think the best stuff I've ever done on here can be found in my Idol reviews, so you will definitely want to watch and read along. Because I said so. Go back and read the old ones to see what they are all about.
Why have I not updated more? Well, a couple of reasons. The good news: I have been working on researching my very first book (!!). I have no publishing deals or anything in place, it is more of a labor of love type exercise. When I get to the actual writing of it, I will put samples on here for your reading pleasure.
The bad news: 2005 has been a bad year for me, and I'm not really sure why. I have a wonderful girlfriend, I am employed and making more money than I have ever made before, I live in a great house with a great friend, I have a new car, but I am honestly feeling awful. Like more awful than I have felt in years. I am constantly beating myself up and stressing over EVERYTHING, from the way other people see me to what I should be doing to mundane stuff. I am barely able to speak, nor do I have much interest in showing my face in social situations. I can not sleep comfortably at night. I have more nights filled with horrific nightmares than either good dreams or no dreams at all. If this continues without changing, I really don't think I will make it to next December. I am going to get some drugs to take care of it, because all of the drugs, drinking, relaxing, talking, and "letting time heal wounds" in the world isn't going to help what appears to be a stress related issue of some kind.
I have a lot of things to take care of in the new year, and I can't wait to do so. I thank you all for ever reading this here blog o' mine.
I'd like to close with a quote from the great philosopher, Michael Hickenbottom-
"You know, I've lost a lot of things over the past year, and one of them has been my smile. And I know it may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to me, so I need to go, and fix myself, and I need to go find my smile, because somewhere along the line, I lost it."
Ok, that was a tad dramatic, but it was atad dramatic when the great Hickenbottom said it with tears pouring down his face. (I always say shit like this because I know that no one knows what the fuck I'm talking about, and maybe they will Google and hear the wonderful speech).
I am still going to update, I just wanted to do something that I haven't done in awhile, and something that is kind of freeing, I'm just telling you what the hell I'm going through.
Life is great.
I have so many people to thank for being a part of my life, and then there are so many people that I barely ever see that I care about as much as I care about everyone else. I suck at expressing my feelings, so if you are here reading this, just know that in between all of my stressing out about my present, future and past, I smile thinking about how lucky I am to know so many great people.
Thank you all so much.
I love you, and I will except nothing less than a perfect 2006 for all of us.
Love,
AAR
Monday, December 19, 2005
Rock the Casbah
Deny the Holocaust? Fuck you.
Hate on America? Fuck you.
Take away the rights of the Iranian youth to hear Kenny G? Two words: Regime fucking change.
Me thinks the AP writer meant to "Tears in Heaven", which was originally on the soundtrack to the movie "Rush". And "Careless Whisper" is actually credited to Wham! Feat. George Michael, but that's not the point.
This Casey Kasem look alike is not going to last long (and don't be surprised to see him removed from power by his own countrymen/women.
AAR
Spying, Iraq, America, and History
I think Bush would have the benefit of the doubt about his plan for NSA to monitor communications of potential Al Qaeda helpers in our country if there wasn't such a distrust of his administration's secrecy, and it's constant sense of scheming.
The election in Iraq was an incredible statement about democracy, which ironically, the political party known as the Democrats barely recognized. I mean, things have been so bad for so long regarding Iraq, if you don't see how incredible the turnout was, and have pride, well, you are a complete political mark and don't give 2 shits about freedom.
Yes, the war sucks. Yes, it was all b.s. But we are doing some great stuff for the citizens of Iraq, and we all can be happy about that.
What we can't be happy about is the fact that I was reminded of this morning as I watched Bush's first Press Conference in forever.
We are the United States of America, the nation of freedom, the best country in the world today.
We have the power to elect our leaders.
We are currently being led by a man who is foolish, awkward, and has little grasp of how to discuss the issues that he and his cronies are supposed to know EVERYTHING about.
Our children and our children's children will look back at footage from this decade, and laugh at us for the fool that leads us.
This is not in anyway a personal attack on George W. Bush. He seems like a nice enough fellow.
But when we are facing such a serious issue as terrorists wanting to kill us, we should at least have a leader who is smarter than the average citizen. Or at least charismatic enough to hide his ignorance.
I am sad.
AAR
Friday, December 16, 2005
A couple of news items you may have missed
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/15/AR2005121501728.html
In a "big picture" view of things, these are more important than the fact that Ashlee Simpson fainted in Japan...
AAR
Thursday, December 15, 2005
YAY~!!
He is admitting mistakes in intel and taking responsibility.
It is apparent that he is (finally) listening to good advice.
This has been an awful year for him, and he is finally beginning to show glimpses of being on top of things.
Now go ahead, all my mark Democratic readers, tell me that even when he does things you agree with, you still hate him, and he's only doing it because he's EEEVVVVIIILLLLL.
He's not evil at all. He's just a dumb guy. A dumb guy who is our President. But that doesn't mean he shouldn't be commended.
AAR
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
President Bush may be battling back
He should have been doing this all along (along with firing most of his top advisors).
I will be more than happy to see things go well tomorrow with the Iraq elections, and I hope that I am wrong about how awful things are over there.
AAR
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Telephones are Cancer to me
I find myself less and less interested in answering it.
I used to be a rather talkative guy, but this year, I find myself completely silent most of the time...and I'm ok with that.
If I am on the phone, I have to talk, and I rarely have anything of value to say. This forces me to think of things to say, and then I say them because I have to. That is way too artificial.
When we answer the phone, we ask "Hello?".
When did a greeting become a question?
Do we ask it because if it's someone we don't want to talk to, we take back our greeting?
Now that we have Caller ID, why do we still say "hello?".
I used to think Caller ID would be great, allowing me to screen my calls. But I find myself seeing family members calling, and I purposely don't answer.
Not because I hate them, but because I only want to talk to them when I am good and ready to talk.
When I lived alone, I felt guilty about screening my calls. so guilty that I actually turned the ringer down so I wouldn't know that I was avoiding talking to people.
I was so neurotic (or high) that I found myself occasionally checking the Caller ID box anyway, and getting guilty seeing the people that i had avoided so that I could sit in silence and masturbate/watch bad movies.
So I took the next step: covering up the Caller ID screen so that I wasn't tempted to look at the names of the people that I was ignoring.
I still felt no comfort.
This is the nightmare of being partially autistic. I love being in my own little world from time to time, but I feel enormous guilt about those who try to reach out to me while I hide.
So, eventually, I turn the phone volume up, and start answering.
And why the fuck do some people assume that you know it is them when they call? It goes a little something like this:
Me: "Hello?"
Them:"Hey."....(silence)
Fuckin' identify yourself, Schmuckboy! If you aren't my relative, and you aren't currently occupying my sex life, and you aren't someone I speak with enough to know your voice, you aren't a big enough star to coast by without a proper introduction, ok.
Better yet, put the phone down, and don't call me unless it is an emergency.
And say something like: "Hey, this is (state your name), and I'm bleeding to death on the side of the road".
And the answering machine/voicemail is so stupid. Why do we have to explain to the caller:
A) that yes, you hear my voice, but it is actually a recording, so don't talk to me (I won't answer).
B) You will hear a beep, and after you hear it, you need to speak to leave a message.
If my outgoing message is not in this format, people go crazy. Why can't it just be music playing?
And I can't handle the pressure of getting one take to leave a message that the person I am calling will find interesting enough to warrant a return call.
So I've stopped leaving messages.
Telemarketers= Terrorists.
Ok, that's not true, but trying to trick me into buying shit from you on the phone is pathetic.
Go die.
The phone used to be the only way to speak to those far away. Thank God for the internet, where I can chit chat away without having to be Johnny F'ng Entertaino.
The only good thing about the phone is the sound of a sexy woman's voice on the other end. That is heaven to my earhole.
AAR
Monday, December 12, 2005
Brian Williams Speaks to President Bush
Bush chuckles.
Williams: "And inside Time, it says: ' Bush's Search for His New Groove .' Time Magazine says you're out there talking to people, and Newsweek says you're in here not talking to people. So what is the truth, Mr. President?"
Bush: "Well, I'm talking to you. You're a person."
Williams: "This says you're in a bubble, you have a very small circle of advisers now."
Bush: "Yeah."
Williams: "Is that true?"
Bush: "Uh."
Williams. "Do you feel in a bubble?"
Bush: "No, I don't feel in a bubble. I mean, you feel in a bubble in the sense that I can't go walking out the front gate and go shopping, like I'd love to do for my wife -- although I'm a man, I'm not going to tell you what I'm gonna buy her."
Williams: "I understand that."
Bush: "Look, I, I, uh, I feel like I'm getting really good advice from very capable people, and that people from all walks of life inform me and inform those who advise me. And I feel very comfortable that, that I'm very aware of what's going on.
"I just talked to the president-elect of Honduras. A lot of my job is foreign policy. And I spend an enormous amount of time with leaders from other countries, and they come right here in the Oval Office and tell me what's on their mind. And I tell them what's on my mind.
"And so -- you know, it's the first time I've seen those magazines, by the way."
Williams: "Do you read this kind of stuff?"
Bush: "No."
Williams: "You don't read the newsweeklies at all?"
Bush: "I really don't. I mean, I'm interested in the news, I'm not all that interested in the opinions"
I changed my mind. I think we are better off not hearing him talk...
AAR
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Richard Pryor
If anything good comes out of this sad loss, it is that a new generation will get curious enough to look back at Richard's stand up work, and specifically the amazing tour de force stand up act from 1979.
The best performer ever is gone...and I think he needs to be celebrated. Do yourself a favor and rent this film, I guarantee that you will thank me for it.
AAR
Friday, December 09, 2005
Seinfeld vs. Curb Your Enthusiasm
I liked Seinfeld a little, but was never a regular viewer because: A) Jerry Seinfeld is a horrible actor (even when he's playing himself!); B) the 3 main characters got terribly obnoxious; and C) I am a rebel, and since everyone else was so hard for the show, I didn't get that into it...
I love Curb Your Enthusiasm.
What is it that makes some of us "Curb" people and some (most) people "Seinfeldians", with little to no crossover?
Is it the presence of a laugh track?
The improvisational nature of "Curb"?
I seek answers.
AAR
The always enlightened observer, Neil Cavuto
I mean, really thin ? bone thin ? dangerously thin"
Wow, really? Thank God we have a Financial expert to make such keen observations that we normally would miss.
AAR
Thursday, December 08, 2005
"IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!"
http://www.highspots.com/videos/video.asp?file=ccw_qa_preview.wmv
The preceding took place at Q&A session with some old school 1980's wrestlers. This young Karl Rove look alike is quickly becoming a cult legend for his passionate nostalgia for the days of kayfabe (when everyone pretended like wrestling wasn't fake).
I've cried about wrestling, but I will never do it with the gusto this dude has.
God bless him.
AAR
Blog Therapy
The answer is no.
What I'm trying to express is, there is shit happening in my life that warrants many many words. I need help with these things, and pouring it all out this way seems a lot easier than, oh, I don't know, going to see a shrink.
But, alas, I would not want to hurt these individuals.
This is why my blog so completely sucks lately (like you all need another bitchy whiner telling you how fucked up things are these days in "US & A").
I wish I was more cowardly about my own identity, but I've got my name on my blog, I've got a thousand people peeking in at night to see where AdamAnnapolis Richman, God of Fuck lives and breathes, I've got a line of women that i have to turn away everyday at work, all of them looking for just a shot of what it's like to smell my Axe Kilo Bodyspray, and I've got legions of fans internationally wondering why I am the #3 site to pop up when you Google "Rita Cosby Voice".
This is me.
Bleeding, Crying, Begging, Screaming "Cock" and "Cunt" in public.
This is me.
Bragging about how great I am, then kicking myself for nothing~
This is me.
Somebody send me some fucking Quaaludes for Christmas.
Err, The Holidays.
Please.
AAR
Read and enjoy
Lulu kicks some serious West Coast ass.
AAR
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Ok, now I officially completely offended
What's missing from the White House Christmas card? Christmas.
This month, as in every December since he took office, President Bush sent out cards with a generic end-of-the-year message, wishing 1.4 million of his close friends and supporters a happy "holiday season."
Many people are thrilled to get a White House Christmas card, no matter what the greeting inside. But some conservative Christians are reacting as if Bush stuck coal in their stockings.
"This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture," said William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.
(Ad: As one of the "worst elements of our culture", a/k/a A Jew, I am sick to my stomach with William Donohue, a man who is doing such a disservice to the overwhelming majority of Catholics in this country, who have shared a wonderful relationship with those who share my faith. Donohue is a sick piece of shit. I am completely offended by his saying this about something that the President did that dared to actual be inclusive and compassionate...It's a holiday season. Get it? Take your anti-semitism, your anti-Islam, your anti-anything that you aren't, and fuck off, Mr. Donohue. Jesus never stood for any of the bullshit whoring that you do for your fanatic positions.)
AAR
Monday, December 05, 2005
"War on Christmas"
We are going to make this time of year be about "holidays", not "Christmas"...
We face stubborn resistance from Bill O'Reilly, John Gibson and the entire Fox News Machine.
We shall defeat them all, until the colors red and green are found nowhere AGAAAAIIIINNN~!!!
BWAHAHAHA~!!! (Evil, scary laugh)
In other words, shut the fuck up, have a wonderful Christmas with your family, and stop wasting time taking a very very minor issue and making it into a crusade.
AAR
FUX NEWS- CAVUTO- WHY I LOVE SQUARES
I have no problem with triangles, it's just that squares are much better.
You see, triangles only have three sides, while squares have four.
That's one more side.
That is why I love squares.
-Cavuto
AAR
Sunday, December 04, 2005
NIRVANA- NEVERMIND (1991)
IN BLOOM- This one follows the same formula as "Teen Spirit" of quiet verse, loud chorus. It's actually a much better song. The lyrics attack the fans who love the band's music, but don't share their left leaning politics. It's funny that this song was written well before the band had a large audience, and the meaning took on a more global meaning (especially to Cobain). Might very well be the catchiest song ever...
COME AS YOU ARE- Enjoyable midtempo song has a water-y bass sound, and a haunting refrain "And I swear that I don't have a gun...No, I don't have a gun".
BREED- A full tilt rocker...perfect production - bass and guitar are heavily distorted, and when we get to the chorus, Grohl bashes along as Cobain suggests "we could plant a house, we could be a tree" making it the most melodic arena rock ear bleeder of all time...Sing along.
LITHIUM- I am not kidding when I think that this song should become our National Anthem...Unlike our current one, this one is fun to sing, is funny, has the word "horny" in it, and has a simple chorus of "Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh!". I would be proudly patriotic to hear this at every sporting event, and as we won gold at the Olympics. Make it happen.
POLLY- An acoustic scarily intimate song sung from the point of view of a rapist. Cobain was extremely disturbed that many didn't understand that he wasn't celebrating th rapist or the act of rape, he was celebrating the victim's strength. Many probably think he's singing to his parrot.
TERRITORIAL PISSINGS- After bassist Krist Novoselic destroys the chorus The Youngblood's "Get Together", the fastest rush of 3 chord pop/punk blows through with Cobain shredding his voice by screaming "Gotta find a way, a better way, I'd better wait"....At the end his voice completely falls apart. Tremendous.
DRAIN YOU- A super catchy tune with great lyrics about co-dependency: "chew your meat for you, pass it back and forth, in a passionate kiss, from my mouth to yours"..Not Hallmark card stuff, but you get the point...This one is a lost classic.
LOUNGE ACT- I originally thought this was a gay love song, which seemed pretty ballsy from a major label rock band. I was wrong. The first 2 verses and choruses bounce along at a nice pace before verse 3 explodes into more melodic screaming...Very good.
STAY AWAY- A very simple, very catchy tune...Not as much of a standout as the other tracks, but most artists would kill for a song like this.
ON A PLAIN- Another lost gem with some crazy lyrics..."I got so high I scratched till I bled","My mother died every night, it's safe to say don't quote me on that"...The exuberance with which Cobain sings "Love myself, better than you" is epic, although who knows how serious he is...A catchy verse, a wonderful bridge, and a nice harmony on the chorus. Brilliant songwriting.
SOMETHING IN THE WAY- Another acoustic downer...good, but not great. Lyric to live by: "It's ok to eat fish cause they don't have any feelings"...(Followed on the CD by 10+ minutes of silnece before the insanely delevered "Endless Nameless" appears)
The baby boomer generation have scores of classic albums that us Gen X'ers still listen to.
I had always wanted a classic for my generation that fit right in with the best of the Beatles, the Stones, etc.
This is it.
Perfect all the way through.







